Older and Wiser

They say that becoming 1 year older means being wiser. That's why my colleagues gave me a "high key" celebration, singing the birthday song loud and clear... twice in fact. I'd wish to believe that growing older is indeed such a good thing, but everytime I feel the backaches... I could hardly be convinced.



At this age, there is nothing so exciting about birthdays. It is even a little dreadful. I received my first birthday greeting on 1 Jun from some vendors. One whole month of celebration seemed great! Not exactly. It also prolonged my anxiety, as if a clock is ticking each day, towards the day that I would aged. Imagine that feeling I felt for a month.

I woke up this morning, determined that it has to get on like any normal day. But how could it ever be? I am touched by the many people who put in so much thoughts and preparation in advance to make sure that I would have a good day.

Nevertheless, I am glad it's over. Just thankful that I have had another good year.


My birthday cake, with faces of my precious all over.


Someone just can't wait.


Face smudged with cream.

By the way, how old am I? Count the number of candles on the cake hehe...

The last days of Punggol wilderness

By a city girl's standard, this part of Punggol is a "wilderness". Soft sand, wild flowers, trees standing barren admist the lalang fields, totally uninhabited... maybe not quite.



The HDB flats in the background are located within such proximity to my so-called "wilderness". I won't be surprised that very soon, the lalang fields will be replaced by residential skyscrappers and new inhabitants... children in their bicycles, domestic helpers chilling and chatting along the void deck, couple of eldely folks having a game of chess, footprints, vandalism... and all other signs of a human habitat.

Something like this.




We walked a long way and searched for quite some time before finding this metal bridge. It is worned out, broken, full of potholes... in fact, barely a bridge. But there is a certain charm about it. After returning home, I keep thinking and wonder for what purpose is a bridge there. It is erected over a tiny... I will call it, a stream and we also found that the other side is accessible from another road without the bridge. I have no clue how long the bridge has stood there and what was in the vicinity previously. They are all part of history now and unfortunately, lost to time.

We met a nice family who was fishing along the river opposite Coney Island. They told me that this place will be fenced up and closed to public by the end of the day. It didn't look to me like any major construction work is going to be carried out in the few days to follow. But development of this area in the very near future seems inevitable.



It is very sad that we are losing more and more of "nature" to "urbanisation". Even as it is today, this natural environment has not been well maintained. It could have been used by some as an illegal dumping field... we found old TV sets, furnitures and all kinds of human trash there.



Nevertheless, we were lucky to be there to see the last of this place and to have met a bunch of helpful and friendly people. Most of all, like my friend said, it was nice walk.


A punggol sunrise.

在我还未失去知觉，在世界遗忘我之前。。。

今天打开电脑，全都是Michael Jackson逝世的消息。就连母亲晚上见到我，第一件事也提到了MJ.

唱片总销售量超过7.5亿张，成就决不是盖的。MJ独创的moonwalk曾经风靡全球，赢得少男少女们的崇拜，我还印象深刻。是一代巨星，也是一个话题人物，除了他的成就以外，MJ总是绯闻缠身。从早期人们对他整形的事议论纷纷，到后来虐童、性骚扰的指控。。。究竟他是成功还是失败，我没资格评论。不过肯定的是，所有的纷纷扰扰、指责批评不会因为他去世而停止。这样也好，就算他仅仅50岁就离开了，也能永远活在人们的心里。

如果可以选择，你会想要像MJ一样轰轰烈烈活一次哪怕短暂的人生，还是像大多数人那样细水长流过完平平淡淡的一生？我想，生命不在乎长短，只在乎有没有意义。可惜，我不仅无法掌控我生命的长短，就连怎样才能活得精彩，有意义，我仍然在摸索着。

对于生命的无常我十分感触。早早计划好的退休生活，60岁后希望还有力气出席摇滚演唱会，老了想再次重游欧洲的心愿。。。这些在将来不一定有机会实现。活着，不是必然的。生命中唯一的绝对只有死亡。

最近，有位算命师傅说我长得一幅短命像。其实之前，已经有另一位师傅忠告我将在60几时遇上大劫。真的，我并没有很介意。反而，他们提醒了我不应该再浪费时间。在未来的几十年，我可以做到轰轰烈烈，但不一定是震撼全世界，只要让自己快乐，让身旁的人快乐。这是生命的最基本。也许，要更努力积极，对别人更加宽容，不拖延，不迟疑，甚至学习为他人而活着才能达到这个目标。

在我还未失去知觉，在世界遗忘我之前，要做的事太多，太多。

Updating contact list

I have a new sleek looking mobile handset. By the sale person's standard, it is not a very saleable model and has been launched for over a year now. Doesn't matter to me anyway, I am out of fashion most of the time.

Each time I have a new phone, my contact list will be shortened. It is usually then that I will do a housekeeping of my phone book. There are those who have been deleted because we are no longer in contact; some whom I wondered why I had their numbers in the first place. Others, I just couldn't wait to get them off the memory... in fact, I wished our paths have never crossed.

There are a couple of numbers I have not used since 1999. Nevertheless, I kept them, with hopes that one day I will see those numbers flashing on my screen once more. Another one I tried calling the other day but was reciprocated with an automated message that the number I have dialed is incorrect. I left it as it is, perhaps of nostalgia or maybe I just cannot imagine not having this name listed in my phone book.

The funny thing about technology is that it brings us advancement but at the same time deterrioration. Once upon a time, I could remember the phone numbers of all my friends but these days, I could even forget my home number. With all the gadgets and platforms that are now available, we are more accessible to one another but then it seems like we have become more distant. It is strange that people could talk like old friends but never know how each other looked or sounded like. Such "virtual relationship" is very hard to define and may even be a little bizarre to imagine it could be satisfying.

I still believe that some things are best done in the old fashioned way. Like a firm handshake, a voice saying "hello" or a giggle and a big broad smile... they are irreplaceable, not even with fancy animated emoticons.